Unemployed.

Almost three months unemployed. I have applied for so many jobs, but I have this feeling that working for the man isn't for me. The clocking in and out. Micromanagers. Sitting at a desk for hours.on.end. The thought is enough to kill me, let alone actually doing it in a place that doesn't value movement and creativity and ideas and conversations and ... Yes. Sitting in an office. I'll do it if I must, but it sounds like a slow painful death to my mind, body and soul.

The last few months have been so strange. For the first time in EVER, I was at home with no children. They are all in school and my youngest is in pre-k full time. I never thought I wouldn't get another job because I've seriously gotten every job I've ever interviewed for. This time I can't even get an interview for anything even though I have the qualifications. How does that even work?! 

So this has been a very humbling experience, to say the least. It's hard some days to not get down on myself about it. I applied to work at target and to clean houses. Just to see. And.... Nothing. The cleaning company...They said they wouldn't even consider me to CLEAN HOUSES. 

I've run the gamut of possible jobs. I am still hopeful. Still thinking that something great is going to happen for me. Positive thinking. Keeping stress low. Giving myself grace to have hard days or bad days. I tell myself the right thing will come along. And hopefully, my ex's eyes and heart open up and he realizes he needs to pay child support, as he agreed and is ordered by courts. Losing my job and him not paying support all within the same month has been nothing short of hard (and also humbling). 

Today I woke up & after getting the kids fed and off to school, I decided to run errands without even doing anything, except brushing my teeth and throwing on leggings and a sweatshirt, like this... (Not my usual)

That is how I left the house. It was just one of those days!!! 

So...If you read this, please send a quick prayer out. Good vibes needed!!! I'm super smart, capable, motivated, educated (double major in Global Studies and Spanish), I have work experience and just need to be given a fighting chance. I can literally do anything when given the opportunity. (I do love being home...so much to do every day and I'm available to my kids and managing the house, so it's nice but... Let's be real. I've got mouths to feed!!) 

In Peace.

Elsa ❤️